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To any potential friend of mine: I'm your (nonromantic, nonsexual) call girl, not your fall girl.

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Some friends or so called or iffy friends and family of mine before seemed to think that and assume that I'm more privileged in certain specific particular ways than them and that I took less abuse than them for the amount of opposite that I also got. 

They furthermore think that because of that then I am morally obligated to take crap from them such as their portion of the blame for things that went wrong... Or to let them use me as a stand-in to take things out on on behalf of their abusers instead of just talking to me about what happened to them. If I'm close enough to them for them to feel safe taking shit out on me then they need to either trust me to hear their story or back up so we aren't so close at all. 


A lot of people go past the line with me because others pushed them there and they saw me as a soft psychological place to land... Including unfortunately with their knives at the ready. Hey... I'm either a place to land or an effigy to cut up... But I can't and won't be, and shouldn't be, both. I have the right not to be both. And not to be the effigy at all.

They aren't my damn kids. They are all old enough to either talk to me about what is really happening or defend themselves or walk away or seek outside help or take the damn beating (that they're passing on or letting their abusers give to me on their behalf) for themselves if they need someone to carry their guilt or shame. 

But they can't be making me take the beating for them... as in, any share of the blame that doesn't belong to me. If I ever take the blame or fall or punishment for someone else then that choice has to come from me. Not from anyone else even ASKING me to do it, let alone ordering me to or guilting/shaming me if I don't... Because who do they think they are or aren't, and who do they think I am or am not, for them to think they have any right to ask that of me?

Let alone demand it of me or just draft me into the role without my knowledge or consent or over my objections. Let alone get pissy and guilt trippy when I reject the role as I have every right to do and always had that right.

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