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Love for and control over others are opposites, period.

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Terrible things happen when and where the commentary or bits of it gets seen as objective facts and the point of it all gets seen as subjective opinion.


Selling out sucks. I don't judge those that appear to do that, because they never set out to be forced to.


And so if I, for example, choose not to sell out it isn't me ushing myself too hard or thinking I'm better than anyuone else. It means that just because it would stress you out too much now doesn't mean it would me. Not because I'm "better than" anyone... because my situation is different. And I'm the judge of my situation as everyone is of their own situation. 

So try not to tell me what you assume is best for me as though it's fact... suggestions ae okay but not judgment. 

The toxic side of "If I can't help myself then I'll help others" is when it morphs into "If I can't control much in my life then at least I can control how much I help others" which then morphs into "If I can't control my life then at least I can control others' lives." By then it's not help or love any more... it's the opposite. It's control. You cannot truly love a person while controlling them and controlling someone is not something you can do while loving them.


That is why full, enthusiastic, fully informed, fully ACCURATELY informed, fully non-coerced, fully non-forced, consent is must and should never be seen as just an option or an "if this" or "when that" or "provided certain things."

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