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So you feel dehumanized by others not letting you dehumanize others. So it's your only outlet.

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 It's our existence that qualifies us as sentient, and as deserving to be seen as and treated as such.

So you feel dehumanized by others not allowing you to dehumanize others?

Maybe that's not what's going on inside you at all.

It's that you were never humanized yourself in this current life. Not to your face, in a way you understood, anyway. No one knew you or cared enough about you to know they didn't know, and to find out who you really were or direct you to someone who would know and love you as is and humanize you.

So the only outward language you currently know how to speak is, as my husband Teddy calls it, "throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks." Another thing he calls that is "crying out in the wilderness." 

Once you do run into someone who recognizes you as the sentient being you always were, and especially if they identify on a personal level with your brand of it, then you will finally be able to sit down and concentrate on wondering, "What is it that makes a person human or worthy of being seen as or treated as one, anyway?"

And then you remember that existing is more than enough for that.

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