So you exploded.
I'm proud of you.
You finally found a place where you felt safe and capable of expressing your pent up feelings that were torturing you in silence with no support for so long. As in no real actual emotional support from those you really actually could trust enough to express or explain it to them.
Just, if you exploded on anyone who didn't hurt you in the way that caused you to explode there, then please know that there are better places to bleed than onto those that didn't cut you. Until you can find those that did cut you and also those who love you as is without trying to change you without you asking them to do it a bit... Then you need to go bleed/scream out in the field or into a pillow or drown it out by the sound of running water.
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