"Programmed" and "aggressive" and "passive" and "passive aggressive" and "better person than" and "perfect person" are lies.

Just because you would be thinking this or that or feeling this or that way or would have this motive or that reason for doing what I'm doing if YOU were the one doing it, doesn't mean I have that motive you have. 

I am not you. It takes one to spot one, in a psychological sense... it takes one like you to spot one like you... but that never means that every one you spot is one like you... You clearly aren't paying enough attention to the situation and to your own use of logic to be accurately judging my values or motive or intent or goal or reason at all... and that's because your own traumas are distracting you and thus are making you only able to pay enough attention to project your own traumas and your abusers' intents and your own intents onto me. Knock it off. I don't do that to you. If I do, tell me.

I'm a full and complete person who is more than what you think of me or who you want me to be or are assigning me to be. I'm just as intense and complex and THERE as you are... I was never a blank wall you could project your crap onto... and then when you try, you wonder why your projection doesn't show up as you expected or wanted, and you blame the wall for not being blank enough like you expected. No one is a blank book you can write your own crap in without their permission. Everyone has as rich a past, present, and future as you do. So if your crap either makes the book crappy, or makes your writing in it not even show up over what is already in there, then that's not the fault of the book you thought was blank.

This extends to and always included the fact that no one is or was ever born a blank slate-- we come with memories that we forget most of later. We come fully sentient and as more connected than not, as we were forever before. 

No one is "programmed to receive." That is a lie. No one is the empty, dark part of the yinyang... that side is empty space; we are all matter... souls... part of the full light side. It isn't matter that's soulless and souls that aren't matter... how could that even be possible? Some of those people have it ass backwards.

We all receive and give ourselves on the outside of us, as connections that last forever, but no one themself is an empty or nonexistent or lesser or non-whatever that you get to fill with your own crap to "make it fuller" or for any reason.