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Our jungle-brain parts are what turn against us and each other.

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It hurts me that I ever thought or felt on any level that my husband Teddy would ever betray me or that I should ever dump or criticize him. And it hurts me that he ever thought any of that about me with regards to how I'd think of or treat him.

Our PTSD issues or whatever they are isn't us on any level ... Doesn't effect or affect us... It effected our primitive human brainstems which effected and then emotionally affected us by hammering us with ideas we know are inaccurate. Making us act on them anyway under threat of our own and each other's primitive parts-that-were-never-us but that are parts of our brains (as with everyone) harming and hurting us... By action AND by omission... if we didn't.

Knowing it is not us but our brains that got overtaken by the trauma despite us knowing better and believing in better and knowing it's always worth it no matter what never to let it make us abuse or neglect each other by action or by omission... Knowing it was not us letting or putting or pushing each other down but us reacting to our traumatized brains and losing track of the fact that the person in front of us isn't the trauma in that part of our brain... is not each other or part of ourselves either.


Knowing all this lets and helps and makes us realize consciously... Finally... That we and each other were never any problem. Our trauma in our brains was. That is not us... We live in and with our brains.

This makes us able to do something better than forgiving ourselves and each other... Realizing that we never needed forgiveness... we did nothing wrong in the first place. That it was never either of our fault or inherent inability at all.

And knowing that helps us calm down those parts of our brains in ways that don't shame or guilt or scare or depress our poor brains that have been through enough. As have we. And enough is too much.

We-- everyone-- is still free and have control over what we do but not all the time... Not when one's traumatized brainstem takes over.

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