I name a name here.

I need to vent about my past. No judgment please, or judgmental advice aimed at me... including suggestions to "move on." I need a hug to help me move on, not a lecture or demands that I move on. I'm not even making this my whole life. Anyone who thinks I am might be making it their whole life to seek things in others that they can judge.

I name a name here. Not for petty crap reasons. Not for revenge. Not to get others' attention or interest. Not to dehumanize anyone. To humanize everyone. 

I could go on about how this person has their own traumas and stigmas from their past forcing them to do what they did. But they need to write their own crap about it, or express it in some other way themselves. It isn't my right, place, or responsibility to shrink this abusive shrink's head. 

This post is because there needs to be accountability for dehumanizing behavior towards others so that it doesn't happen again and so that every victim gets truthfully reassured that from now on that they will be treated as the sentient person they are.

I'm not trying or aiming or wanting to ruin the life of Philippe Lageix (a psychiatrist who did a lot of people wrong including me) or anyone like him. I'm trying to improve things for everyone.

This is a person who saw a lot of his patients/clients-- myself included-- as not human enough to be worth expending resources referring to a psychologist, not human enough to be capable of benefiting from a psychologist, and not human enough to be in enough (or any) real intense complex actual distress to be in need of a psychologist.

His attitude was that of a Nazi. If Lageix had passed by me bleeding alone in a ditch and no one else was around, and he could get away with it, then he would stand there and wait for me to bleed to death before calling to report a dead body on the side of the road. And he wouldn't be calling 911 to report a dead human... He would call 311 to report roadkill. And he wouldn't talk to or comfort me while letting me bleed to death... those things are for real people, people who actually benefit from and need and deserve humanization. Not the likes of me.

He never cared about my psychological state, just about my occupational state. He assumed I was soulless and loveless and that therefore the only reason to keep me around was so that I could learn the skills to be used... not to be helped emotionally, psychologically. Not to help me realize I need and deserve to be loved and am lovable and capable of benefiting from love.

He was a dangerous man, and maybe still is. And he would have been even more dangerous-- if that's possible-- if he had been in certain positions in society or in life. And he never said one kind word to me. After all, I wasn't in need of or capable of or deserving of being humanized.

I don't need to treat him like an authority here... he needed to treat me like a person.

I don't need to be nice to him... or civil... or even careful. None of that is being actually kind anyway, without humanization being involved. Pretending to like someone or pretending to tolerate their behavior or pretending to be unfazed isn't humanizing them. It's dehumanizing both them and yourself. And feeding into their dehumanization of you, their assumption that they are doing you no harm... that if you were sentient you would complain.

He needed to be humanizing to me. I don't need to be nice to him right now. And regardless of whether or not I'm nice to my dehumanizers, I need and deserve and benefit from being treated like a person.

Nobody who currently still has the attitude he had there deserves or needs to be, or is deserved or needed to be, in a directly-helping profession. Because anything good they do or touch concerning those they are supposed to help will turn to shit under that attitude of theirs.

I'm not saying "ban them for life." I'm saying suspend them until they get a humanizing attitude.

I will never forget how he found it interesting in a detached way how I met my ex online on a site for autistic people and had my son with him. 

I will never, ever forget how when my ex and my son came to my appointment with me once to get more meds for my depression, that Lageix asked my son (who was 2 years old at the time and instinctively scared of him) fake-caring questions like what his name was... to see for his own interest and amusement if my son was "like us." He looked at my son like he was his science project or an interesting scientific phenomenon rather than a person.

It was never me acting soulless in the office with Lageix. He looked for nothing good in me so he focused on and found nothing human about me, though it was staring him in the face... exhibited emotions and all... but it was hopeless right then... because he saw everything I was and did and appeared as and acted like through the lens of "this thing is programmed to pretend to be human." 

If he was looking for soulless behavior, he need not have looked any further than the bathroom mirror.

He's not soulless... but his behavior there was.