I sometimes have a love-hate relationship with the idea of borderline personality disorder. It is a toxic attitude about it that I sometimes end up with, but I'm trying to work on it. I refuse to put my whole life into that though because I have bigger better fish to fry that ultimately includes all that but also includes ad focuses more on more pressing and important issues more personal to me and mine. I won't break myself because anyone orders me to.
But the all or nothing borderline crap irks me. I know it's a disgusting stereotype ad I don't actually mean it's a borderline thing at all... just a human trait from trauma, but that takes too long to say, but I still need to make you aware that it's just the way I'm saying it, not what I'm thinking or feeling, or else the while thing blows up.
What I mean is toxic attitudes that harm people but that are not the fault of the one who has been forced, directly or otherwise, to take and then pass on that attitude.
The attitude includes the idea that it is either all your fault or all mine. The "I hate you, I deserved worlds better" and then the "how dare you hate me for hating you, don't you love me?" and then the "I hate myself and am going to kill myself as recompense to prove my love and devotion to you and to punish and torture myself for torturing or harming or hurting you. Including by spilling the milk at dinner, because after how I treated you you deserve for me to never make any little mistake ever again."
The direct bias toward negativity that is also PTSD.
Also CPTSD.
Bipolar mania is often or maybe always indirect bias toward negative too, by forcing positive by and in the process of trying to induce it. (But this includes more positivity... celebrating your time feeling good after feeling terrible for so long... because quite frankly, you DESERVE to feel good after the nasty depression... and you deserve to feel just as good regardless.)
The negative bias of "someone needs to be blamed and punished for this in a way that involves some kind of torture, or else there will be no justice and no peace." The utter (and this is enforced on some level by someone somewhere, not their fault either) forgetting of the fact that there is another option... the perpetrator of a dehumanizing mistake or action or inaction simply acknowledging to you that you always deserved better, that you were always a sentient human being and that they were trying subconsciously to shoehorn you into a reductive role by treating you a certain way, and that from now on they will totally uphold the fact that you are infinitely more than that, as everyone is. That they will make mistakes forever, but that they will never the mistake of dehumanizing you ever again. Other mistakes don't matter and should be encouraged.
A further toxic idea that has to go is the idea that someone has to take all the blame for everything and for everyone. Or that everything and everyone is to blame other than some perfect person or other who might be the person blaming everyone else, or might be someone else whom the person has designated as their favorite person.
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