First and foremost and 100% 24/7/365, you are a sentient being.
You're not refined or civilized or subtle or discreet. You're human. You run roughshod over people too... Just in a more insidious way. You are a savage underneath too (like the author of A Separate Peace said), where your head meets your spine. Or rather, you appear to be because of that connection we are forced to have in order to exist on this plane. I just said before recently that if you cut out your brainstem you would get as far as the floor... and that won't change any time soon unless and until something seriously huge and amazing happens.
You are not better than me. I'm not better than you. If someone runs over people less, it's from the opportunity to know better... not from any inherent betterness of any kind. Not from being ANY betterness of any kind. Let's use our nasty streaks instead of letting them use us. Let's put them together to help create a better universe. We can't and shouldn't transcend our humanity... and/but we need to and can work with it to transcend the emptiness and lack of love that surrounds us that we are also holding on to.
Because it isn't us that's the problem. We don't need to be breaking or punishing or transcending ourselves or others. We need to be moving away from the crap... and that crap isn't us. The problem is the idea that WE are the problem. That you or I or he or she or they are the problem.
A lot of things people call class are, as my husband Teddy would call it, "class with a capital K." It's the opposite of real class, whatever positivity is in it. It's denial of everyone's nature and needs and abilities and current situational limits.
You are not, and your actual identity does not include, shortcomings. Don't-- you honestly don't have to-- blame or pity yourself or others. It's your current or past situational limits that are the problem. You are full and freely resourceful human being in an actually impossible situation that is becoming more fixable by us accepting and loving each other as is, or at least leaving each other alone to find and be accepted and loved by others who CAN currently accept and love them. That doesn't mean we aren't trying or checking back regularly enough times to see if anything changed that makes us able to now do something about it. We haven't given up and we aren't making excuses. We're being realistic. And that's a good thing, not bad.
Sometimes it's not that we can't or won't. It's that our situation is actually impossible. You are moral and capable as is. It isn't that you are being stubborn or rebellious or that you aren't resourceful or intelligent.
It's that the situation is actually impossible.
You never have to let others blame you or pity you for your situation that you never chose and never would have chosen. It isn't you or anything about you that caused or facilitated the situation or that is the situation or that is stopping or preventing you from dealing properly or at all with the situation.
I wasn't born beating myself up or being hard on anyone, so don't tell me I'm projecting my own critical whatever onto anyone else. I'm trying to do the opposite here... I'm trying to say critical crap is horseshit. Pick your poison, or not. Blaming someone is feeling sorry for them for being immoral. Feeling sorry for someone is blaming them for being incapable.
What we need to transcend here is the idea that we need to transcend ourselves. To break or dehumanize or demean or pity or blame ourselves or each other.
This "push yourself" culture has gone too far. This "get busy living or get busy dying," "type A or bust" culture. This culture of calling people "high functioning" to deny them support and then when they snap, calling them "low functioning" to deny them their agency. Or vice versa. (The support/agency/functioning labels thing is a very hot topic in the autistic and bipolar communities, which talk more straightforwardly about it than a lot of other communities do.)
This culture of industry versus inferiority, "I'm 8 years old forever now because this sick society traumatized 8-year-old me by putting it into my head that if I don't prove my skill to prove my usefulness to society and thus my worth, then I am not worthy of life. Not worthy of being kept alive or of even being LEFT alive." This society, this culture of enforced, mandated emotional crippledness/disturbance/immaturity/instability/ignorance that is so not anyone at all for real, but that feeds into itself and each part of it into each other part.
I learned about the Holocaust when I was 8 years old. Worst (or best?) time I could have found out about it. Industry versus inferiority time. "Learn to work for your supposedly flexible/malleable/conditional right to exist on this planet" time. "Do it or die" time. "You only get so many chances" time. The "if you couldn't work you went to the gas chamber" part is something I took very, very personally. And we all SHOULD and NEED to take it very, very personally. Even if you are Mr. Industry or Ms. Unsinkable or whatever, then what happens when that runs out of steam or gets taken from you?
It's a sick, sick society that puts it into the heads of 8-year-old children that they only have a right to exist if and when they put out.
Or only if and when they put out for certain people, types, groups, organizations, institutions. Or only if they put out in the way or order prescribed by those.
All of the above.
That means telling everyone and anyone-- we're all 8-year-old children-- or 8-to-25-year-old adolescents-- this society and planet and universe are still in their adolescence, which forces us to be that way too, this sick cycle that has to spiral out of control before it can spiral into it-- that we aren't doing or being anything for society or for anyone unless we do as the self-appointed higher-ups tell us. (And yes, at the end of the day it is self-appointment. Anyone who wants to be in power over others in any respect does NOT need to be in a career where they are supposed to directly help others.)
The idea that spending your life loving on and caring for your spouse or family or soul-family or soulmates isn't a legitimate occupation. The idea that spending your life counseling your friends for free rather than being paid to counsel strangers isn't a legitimate occupation. The idea that volunteering helping your neighbors clean their yard rather than getting paid to clean the yard at the city hall isn't a legitimate occupation. The idea that volunteering doing random spontaneous odd jobs and favors and other things for people you know and don't or just meet isn't a legitimate occupation... that it only is if it's organized... if it's planned... if it's forced AKA fake enthusiasm... if you were forced or guilted or shamed into doing it... if you don't find it fun... if it, directly-enough, benefits certain prescribed people for it to benefit... or provided it is not for someone society has shunned... or if it isn't for an organization in cahoots with or part of the current dominant so-called higher-up political/economic/social/religious/scientific/educational climate.
The idea that if the government is paying you and it's called welfare, that that means you aren't doing anything or trying to do anything. But that you somehow are doing something, or a lot, or something good, if or because that same government and/or a corporation is paying you 6 figures to sit on your ass and/or to dehumanize others or facilitate the dehumanization of others. To pretend that they worked harder than others did just because they struck paydirt with a ponzi scheme in which those at the bottom do their work but the ones at the top get the credit, because oh, those at the bottom need to thank them for the opportunity to even be their janitor at all nd get paid anything at all. And if they quit? Oh, they're a bum.
The idea that the banker is the one that makes the positive difference. That some people should be venerated for sitting on more money than they could ever use like it's a throne they deserve to sit on to show off their highness or their whatever-- or ironically their hard work, their intelligence or their morals-- while even one other is starving... that that other is the bum rather than the hoarder of wealth.
The idea that the rich get to tell the poor how to live or that they're living wrong. That the corrupt get to tell others that the reason for their misery and so-called immorality is they're not corrupt like THEM or aspiring to be that way. The idea that money needs to come before love. That the down and out people aren't in need of or deserving of or capable of benefiting from love as is.
That Maslow's pyramid, AKA the chakras, AKA whatever and everything else that is the equivalent to that and is the exact same thing but in a different discipline or person's explanation, is a hierarchy at all in that sense. That the only ones who need or deserve to know, to benefit, to realize, to remember immediately and forever, to use what they know, to take part, to love and enjoy it, to share it, to explain and express it, to think and talk about it, to worship it, to get credit for who they are and then what they do, are those at the "head."
Nobody needs to be educated or informed in order to know this. A two-year-old knows this just by seeing what's around them in their immediate vicinity. They just don't have the words to explain it.
And those younger than two know it too, because they still haven't lost most of their access to the other side that is feeding them information through the top of their head before it fully closes and cuts them off their constant fix of further access. One reason why a lot of kids under 2 used to die in the olden days is that they made a choice along with those on the other side to go back to where they came from rather than deal with this shit. It's a trial run until you are about two.
Once you learn to speak in sentences, then you start forgetting. It's awful and good at the same time. Awful before, good when you remember. Because people have to learn to use their logic as well as their observation, coupled with it working together with it, to prove to themselves that the other side exists... if they don't, that cheats them and everyone out of being able to know without a constant fix of it being right there in their face like it is on the other side.
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