I did not used to have a positive relationship with the word "calm."
I thought it meant cold, or forcibly or blindly or fakingly obedient.
Because when a lot of people around me said they were calm they were actually being cold, not calm.
And they said I needed to be calm, but their definition of the calm they wanted me to be wasn't calm at all. It was being scared into submission or depressively resigned to a torturous or tragic situation.
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