Bait and bash

We all are victims forced to decide to be villains to survive and villains deciding from the only information we have using our best judgment to be victims to survive. 

Surviving includes ... Its main component is...being either loved as we are or left alone in all active respects by those who don't love us. More primitive, toxic forms of that are "doing it to be safe" and "doing it to be popular." Needing to be popular means you aren't loved enough where you are, that you have not found your people. And needing safety first before love means you were activey abused by those supposed to love you.

We no longer need to do any of this. It isn't serving anyone's needs on any level any more. It wouldn't have. That crap is corrupt so its short term... It doesn't last. It falls on its own sword while the good in it that it was holding back evolves away from it.

I'm not proud of doing that dehumanizing anti-affirming of sentience to others or of letting others do it to me or of letting others do it to others. And not being able to comfort all those others or myself after it was done to them.  I'm not proud that others did it to me or that others had it done to them by me or by others.

But we can't keep being or getting ashamed of or feel guilty for being trapped in the human condition. That's how we stay trapped. Shame, guilt, toxic fear, and thus depression-- aimed at ourselves or others by ourselves or others-- are how we stay trapped. Because they ARE the trap. It's a trap everyone gets out of no matter what, but it's torture while it lasts. Not worth it to do in the future, worth it only if it's in the past because the universe compensates. And that means it's the OPPOSITE of okay to seek forgiveness rather than asking permission. No, the end never justifies the means. If the kind of love at the end isn't the MEANS of doing it, then the end will be a very bad one... and is therefore not the end.