Bipolarland, Texas part 2

 

Dedicated to those with mental health issues who are on death row, those with unwanted DNR orders, those euthanized (especially those murdered by their own families or by the state), those with “guardians” who have stolen their right to speak for themselves, those in involuntary commitments or receiving involuntary treatments, those who can’t find a job or keep their kids because of their label, those with permanent psych records that cannot be erased, those held illegally or with illegal rules binding them, those who are experimented on illegally, those who are given “aversive therapy”, those given electroconvulsive therapy, those who are in jail instead of in a hospital where they should be, those who belong in and are in jail but aren’t getting adequate psych treatment there, those who cannot afford a proper psychologist and are on long waiting lists, those who had to take painful medication without meds for side effects, those too doped up to defend themselves in court, those in seclusion rooms, those mechanically or chemically restrained, those labeled and stigmatized and otherwise discriminated against and failed by a faulty mental health system.

Prologue-- flash forward

I'm in the seclusion room.

Banging on the door, punching the door, slapping and kicking and scratching at the door, spitting on the door because how dare it not open for me?!

The psych tech argues outside with the nurse. Begging, pleading, crying, eventually yelling for the nurse to just give me something. She can't stand me either. But at least she knows how to shut me up. The tech even remembers what I told her… “Anything but Haldol or Seroquel will be fine.” Through the window in the door, she looks bored and anxious to alleviate her boredom, but can’t, because the boring thing (me) is so annoying.

That nasty nurse is telling the tech, whose name is Sakoya, that I need to learn to calm down on my own, which infuriates both me and Sakoya even more. Sakoya just wants to go home and watch TV. As if reading my mind, she suddenly mutters, “I want to go home and have a shower.”

As if the reason they threw me in here was not enough to be upset about. Another patient, Tiella, tried to call the cops and another shithead staffer, a tech, cut the phone line. When I went to the desk and complained, they said Tiella was out of her mind and didn’t know what she was doing when she called the cops.

Tiella was not out of her mind. She knew perfectly well what she was doing and why she was doing it. She was calling to report her own false imprisonment here. About how the doctor had lied and said she could keep Tiella for as long as she (the doctor) wanted. Tiella kept reminding them that the law was that they had to get a doctor onto the unit within four hours of Tiella writing a note saying she wanted out and signing it. Tiella is, after all, a voluntary patient.

But Dr. Podemskaya insisted that Tiella could only use the four-hour letter law if Podemskaya gave her permission to.

So I got upset and yelled and was put in the dark little room that’s the size of a closet, or two stalls in a public restroom.

Why am I even calling that bitch a doctor? She is no goddamn doctor. She certainly has never heard of first doing no harm, or she interprets it in some convoluted way.

She’s hurt us all. Some of us are afraid of what will happen to us if we criticize her. The most Shaniqua is willing to say about her is that she’s “sometimes harsh”. Chantal even said she was a good doctor, because she gave her the right cream for her acne, the right cream for her yeast infection, the right vitamin supplements, the right pills to take away her hallucinations, but she knows that the emotional trauma from being called a failure, a spoiled brat and a loser by Podemskaya was such that none of the other stuff Podemskaya did for her made it worthwhile.

Kurt was told by Podemskaya that he needed to be in a program that rewarded him for good behavior and punished him for bad behavior… including, but not limited to, getting up to go to the restroom without asking.

And Kurt can’t help that he needs to be active. When he stands or sits or lays still, he’s in physical pain. He can’t explain why with words, so Podemskaya thinks he’s making up excuses.

That bitch is not a doctor.

That shithead should go and work at the jail where the real criminals are, instead of treating us like criminals. I even feel bad thinking this, though, because a lot of people in jail shouldn’t be there, and all people deserve better than jail.